i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
