Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
