She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
