His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Please, let me fuck your mom
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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