Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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