walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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