You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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