"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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