Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
