they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
