I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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