It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You have to summon your inner elephant
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
