Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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