i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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