it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
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I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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