Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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