Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
