guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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