Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
