I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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