Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
