Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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