would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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