i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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