The maid of honor just puked.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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