He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
