Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
