The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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