try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
