While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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