I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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