Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I only lived at night.

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  (734): I wish I only lived at night. http://tfl.nu/lkra
  Replies (16) Good night (4099) Bad night (588)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Midnight walks are trippy

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.

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  (817): Midnight walks are trippy (1-817): I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon. http://tfl.nu/r0y6
  Replies (9) Good night (3493) Bad night (596)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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  (281): So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head" http://tfl.nu/fk9k
  Replies (34) Good night (6016) Bad night (1448)
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  (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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  (858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban
  Replies (28) Good night (8703) Bad night (1286)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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  (907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd
  Replies (11) Good night (862) Bad night (1659)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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  (503): She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze. http://tfl.nu/rdoy
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (1134)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I swear they were about to hook up!!

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

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  (240): I swear they were about to hook up!! (1-240): I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot. http://tfl.nu/yhvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1753) Bad night (512)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor

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  (253): don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor http://tfl.nu/wvuf
  Replies (9) Good night (1493) Bad night (402)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor

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  (780): i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/zkix
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (409)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.

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  (269): We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him. http://tfl.nu/ojms
  Replies (0) Good night (817) Bad night (396)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.

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  (937): That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor. http://tfl.nu/5gnj
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (219)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You are my mentor.

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.

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  (865): You are my mentor. (276): I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement. http://tfl.nu/qxu9
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (318)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.

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  (412): So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T. http://tfl.nu/y888
  Replies (4) Good night (1406) Bad night (412)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing

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  (228): He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/dsmd
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (413)
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  (858): View more from California

  Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

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  (858): Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we? http://tfl.nu/fuxn
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (135)

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