Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.