Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I haven't been this sober since birth.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid