he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
