You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
