he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
