Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize