never play flip cup with pint glasses
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
