well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
