so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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