dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
