I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
