K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
