take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize