from now on my penis is your penis
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. Youโre good at sleeping with many men. Itโs an art.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
