Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
