he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
