I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
