You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
