Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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