I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
