i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
