Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
