sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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