so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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