I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
