with your own penis?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
