No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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