Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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