I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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