I wish my penis had an off switch
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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