it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
