Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
