Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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