problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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