Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
