The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
