I hope mine doesn't look like that
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
