It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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