So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
