none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening